Movie Ratings

If you listen to our podcast, you know that we rate films on a scale of zero to five “Pamela Voorhees Heads.” A film with zero heads should be avoided at all costs, while a film with a perfect five is a must-see. We recommend checking out anything with a rating of 2.5 or higher.

In some instances, one Swearwolf didn’t watch the movie being reviewed. In such cases, that person is ignored, and the overall rating becomes the average score of the two remaining Swearwolves. If we have a guest on the show, their rating is included in the average.

We didn’t apply ratings to some films in our very early days. Sorry about that.

Films are listed and updated alphabetically (omitting words like “A, “An,” The,” etc.).

3 From Hell – Bret: 4, David: 3, Alan: 2, Overall: 3

Alien – Bret: 5, David: 5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4.83

Altered States – Bret: 2, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.17

American Nightmare, The – Bret: 5, David: 3, Alan: 4, special guest Bootsie: 4.5, Overall: 4.125

April Fool’s Day – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.33

Arachnophobia – Bret: N/A, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3

Army of Darkness – Bret: 3.5, David: 4, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.67

Babysitter, The – Bret: 4, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 4

Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.17

Beyond, The – Bret: 4, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, special guest Bootsie: 2, Overall: 3.125

Beyond the Black Rainbow – Bret: 4, David: 3.5, Alan: 5, Overall: 4.17

Bird Box – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.17

Bird with the Crystal Plumage, The – Bret: 1.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 5, Overall: 3

Bone Tomahawk – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 5, Overall: 4

Black Christmas (1974) – Bret: 2, David: 3, Alan: 2, Overall: 2.33

Black Sabbath – Bret: N/A, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 4

Blob, The (1988) – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.17

Blood Diner – Bret: 1, David: 1.5, Alan: 1.5, Overall: 1.33

Blood Rage – Bret: 0.5, David: 2, Alan: 1, Overall: 1.17

Bordello of Blood, Tales from the Crypt Presents – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Special guest Adam: 2.5, Overall: 2.63

Burning, The – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3

Cabin in the Woods, The – Bret: 4.5, David: 4.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 4.33

Candyman – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.83

Christmas Horror Story, A – Bret: 1.5, David: 2, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2

C.H.U.D. – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 2.83

Cannibal Holocaust – Bret: 1, David: 1, Alan: 1, Overall: 1

Chopping Mall – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.83

Class of 1999 – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.17

Collector, The – Bret: 1.5, David: 2, Alan: N/A, Overall: 1.75

Conjuring, The – Bret: 3, David: 4.5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4

Critters – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 2.83

Dawn of the Dead (1978) – Bret: 4, David: 4.5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4.33

Day of the Dead (1985) – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.17

Dead Alive – Bret: 4, David: 3.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.5

Death Proof – Bret: 4.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 3.5

Demon Knight, Tales from the Crypt Presents – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Special guest Adam: 3.5, Overall: 3.5

Demons – Bret: 1.5, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.17

Demons 2 – Bret: 1, David: 2, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 2.17

Descent, The – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.33

Devil’s Rain, The – Bret: 2.5, David: 2, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.33

Devil’s Rejects, The – Bret: 3.5, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.83

Dog Soldiers – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.67

Dracula, Bram Stoker’s – Bret: 3.5, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.83

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark – Bret: 2, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.5

Elvira’s Haunted Hills – Bret: 0.5, David: 1.5, Alan: 1, Overall: 1

Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn – Bret: 4, David: 4.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 4

Father’s Day, A (short) – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: N/A, Overall: 3.5

Feast – Bret: 3.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.17

Feast II – Bret: 0.5, David: 1, Alan: 1.5, Overall: 1

Final Girls, The – Bret: 4, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.83

Fly, The (1986) – Bret: 5, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 4.33

Fog, The (John Carpenter’s) – Bret: 2.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 3.5

Found Footage 3D – Bret: 3.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.33

Frankenhooker – Bret: 3, David: 2.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3

Frankenstein (1931) – Bret: 3.5, David: 5, Alan: 4, Overall: 4.17

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare – Bret: .5, David: .5, Alan: 1, Overall: .67

Friday the 13th (1980) – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.5

Friday the 13th (2009) – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.5

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives – Bret: 2, David: 3.5, Alan: 2, Overall: 2.5

Frighteners, The – Bret: 3.5, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.17

From Beyond – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.33

Get Out – Bret: 4.5, David: 5, Alan: 5, Overall: 4.83

Ghostface (fan film) – Bret: 0.5, David: 1, Alan: 1, Overall: 0.83

Ginger Snaps – Bret: 2.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 3.5

Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film – Bret: 5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, special guest Bootsie: 3.5, Overall: 3.5

Green Inferno, The – Bret: 2, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 3

Green Room – Bret: 4, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 4

Halloween (2018) – Bret: 4, David: 4, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4.17

Halloween III: Season of the Witch – Bret: 3.5, David: 4, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4

Happy Birthday To Me – Bret: 2, David: 2.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.33

Happy Death Day – Bret: 3.5, David: 4, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.67

Happy Death Day 2U – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.33

Hardware – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.67

Hell Fest – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3

High Tension – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.5

Holidays – Bret: 2.5, David: 1.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.33

House by the Cemetery, The – Bret: 1.5, David: 1.5, Alan: 2, special guest Bootsie: 1, Overall: 1.5

House of 1000 Corpses – Bret: 3.5, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.17

Howling, The – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.5

Hush – Bret: 4, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.83

I Spit On Your Grave (1978) – Bret: 3.5, David: 2, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.17

In the Mouth of Madness – Bret: 3, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.5

Jack Frost – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 2, Overall: 2.33

Jester: The (short) – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3

Jester: Chapter 2, The (short) – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3

Lighthouse, The – Bret: 4.5, David: 5, Alan: 5, special guest Bootsie: 4, Overall: 4.625

Lifeforce – Bret: 2, David: 2.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 2.83

Lords of Salem, The – Bret: .5, David: 1.5, Alan: 1, Overall: 1

Lost Boys, The – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3

Mandy – Bret: 3, David: 2.5, Alan: 5, Overall: 3.5

Monkey Shines – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3

Monster Squad, The – Bret: 2, David: 3.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.67

Night of the Comet – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 1.5, Overall: 2.5

Night of the Creeps – Bret: 3.5, David: 4, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.67

Night of the Demons – Bret: 1.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.33

Night of the Living Dead (1968) – Bret: 3, David: 4, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.67

Nightmare On Elm Street, A (1984) – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 2, Overall: 2.5

Nightmare on Elm Street, A (2010) – Bret: 1, David: 1.5, Alan: 1, Overall: 1.33

Phantasm – Bret: 2, David: 2, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.33

Phantasm II – Bret: 1, David: 2.5, Alan: 1.5, Overall: 1.67

Phenomena – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.33

Planet Terror – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 2, Overall: 3.33

Poltergeist (1982) – Bret: 2.5, David: 5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.67

Poultrygeist – Bret: 0, David: 0.5, Alan: 0.5, Overall: 0.33

Predator – Bret: 2.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.33

Prince of Darkness (John Carpenter’s) – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.33

Puppetmaster – Bret: 2.75, David: 2, Alan: 2, Overall: 2.25

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich – Bret: 1, David: 2.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2

Quiet Place, A – Bret: 2, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3

Re-Animator – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 3.83

Red State – Bret: 4.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 4

Return of the Witch, The (fan film) – Bret: 0.5, David: 0.5, Alan: 0.5, Overall: 0.5

Return to Horror High – Bret: 0.5, David: 1, Alan: 0.5, Overall: 0.67

Reverse (short) – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.17

Robowar – Bret: 1, David: 1, Alan: 3, Overall: 1.67

Santa’s Slay – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.67

Sawyer (fan film) – Bret: 0.5, David: 0.5, Alan: 0.5, Overall: 0.5

Scream – Bret: 4, David: 4.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 4

Scream 2 – Bret: 2, David: 2.5, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.33

Sentinel, The – Bret: 2.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 2.67

Shakma – Bret: 2, David: 1.5, Alan: 2, Overall: 1.83

Shocking Dark – Bret: .5, David: 1, Alan: 4, Overall: 1.83

Silent Night, Deadly Night – Bret: 1.5, David: 1, Alan: 1.5, Overall: 1.33

Slaughter High – Bret: 1, David: 0.5, Alan: 1, Overall: 0.83

Sleepaway Camp – Bret: 2.5, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3

Slither – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.33

Society – Bret: 2, David: 2, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.17

Special Day (short) – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.17

Stuff, The – Bret: 2, David: 2, Alan: 1.5, Overall: 1.83

Suck – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.83

Suspiria – Bret: 2, David: 3, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 2.83

Tales from the Crypt (1972) – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 3.5, Overall: 3.5

Terrifier – Bret: 2.5, David 2.5, Alan: N/A, Overall: 2.5

Thankskilling – Bret: 0, David: 1, Alan: 0, Overall: 0.33

Thing, (John Carpenter’s) The – Bret: 5, David: 5, Alan: 5, Overall: 5

Tremors – Bret: 3, David: 3, Alan: 2.5, Overall: 2.83

Tusk – Bret: 3.5, David: 3, Alan: 3, Overall: 3.17

Us – Bret: 4, David: 4.5, Alan: 5, Overall: 4.17

Vampires (John Carpenter’s) – Bret: 1.5, David: 2.5, Alan: 2, Overall: 2

Videodrome – Bret: 4, David: 4, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4.17

Witch, The – Bret: 4, David: 4, Alan: 5, special guest Bootsie: 4.5, Overall: 4.375

Wolf Man, The (1941) – Bret: 3.5, David: 3.5, Alan: 4, Overall: 3.67

Yoga Hosers – Bret: 2.5, David: 2, Alan: 2, Overall: 2.17

Zodiac – Bret: 4.5, David: 4.5, Alan: 4.5, Overall: 4.5

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply